What Shall We Die For?
by Julalicious
Summary: Harry can not find one good reason to continue to fight while so many people he cares about keep dying around him. His friends will have to work hard to bring him back on the right path before it's too late.
1. Prologue Another Lost

**What Shall We Die For**

Prologue

Harry Potter, a seventeen years old boy, sat by the fireplace as he watched the flames dancing in front of him. The Burrow was silent and without the fire burning, the house would be in complete darkness. All the Weasleys and Hermione Granger, one of Harry's best friends, were asleep or simply acting like it. He, on the other hand, couldn't walk up the stairs into the room he was sharing with Ron, his other best friend.

From the moment they entered the Burrow, Harry had went straight to the fireplace. He didn't know why, but it was the only place where he felt safe. He had not been able to eat all day long and he didn't know if he would have been able to eat anything at all. He had seen one of his friends die in front of him without being able to help him. For weeks, his friend had fought for his life and this evening, he had stop battling and gave up.

He had not been able to let out one tear like the others had and it wasn't because he didn't feel anything, he just couldn't let them out.

"Harry?" A small voice took him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Hermione standing there.

He never said a word and she came and sat next to him. He didn't need to let out any word for her to understand him. She was the only person he had been able to cry freely around. On several past occasions, he had cried in front of other people, but not like he had with Hermione.

"It's going to be alright, I promise." She suddenly said, holding up the tears that started to form in her eyes.

And the moment came around Harry, his first tears came out and wasn't able to stop them.

"Come on now, you need to get some sleep for tomorrow." She added on as she helps him up. "He deserves that much."

He nodded, still not able to pronounce one word. He followed her upstairs and while she entered the room where she slept, he entered his and closed the door after he made sure she had closed hers.

He then turned around to see Ron fast asleep on his bed. His friend was mumbling in his sleep, as his sleep seemed to be constantly disturbed because of dreams. Harry silently went onto his own bed without taking the time to take off his clothes and closed his eyes trying to get some rest.

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When he got up the next morning, Harry had watched the black cloth in front of him before finally put it on. He had joined his friends in the kitchen, but his never touched his plate. No one was speaking, as their words would have probably been caught in-between constant sobs. Molly Weasley was occupying herself by filling all the plates with much more food that they could handle. She watched her children as they ate and thanked God that she never had to go through the pain of losing one of them. But still, every day, she feared that something could happen to them and she knew that this fear wasn't about to stop.

"It's time to go children." Molly Weasley had told everyone.

The group of people all got up at the same time instantly and followed her into the living room and stopped in front of the fireplace, right where Harry stood the previous night. Arthur Weasley grabbed the pot containing the floo powder and handed it towards Harry, Ron and Ginny.

"The rest of us will apparate there." He told them. "Just say Mr. Anderson's house. He lives next to the cemetery and is already warned of your coming."

"Alright, dad." Ron replied grabbing a hand full of powder. "We'll be fine."

The old red haired man nodded as he pulled away from the fireplace as Ron entered it.

"Mr. Anderson's house!" The boy yelled and disappeared in the green flames.

"Go on, Ginny." Her mother said pushing the young girl towards her father.

And grabbing the powder, she entered the fireplace and yelled the same words that her brother previously said.

"Harry?" Molly said softly to the boy standing next to her. "Are you sure you are up to this? We could always make you apparate with us."

"No, I'll be fine." He sighed before grabbing the powder and re-doing the exact same as the previous two.

When he felt his feet being on solid ground again, he opened his eyes to find a very old man pointing towards the door where Ron and Ginny stood. He let out a small thank you before joining his two friends. He followed Ron and Ginny who had started to walk towards the cemetery. As the reached the end of the cemetery, hundreds of people stood in front of them, all wearing black clothing, tears tumbling down their faces. A few familiar faces came into view as they saw Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas sitting with Seamus' mother and Lavender Brown crying uncontrollably in Parvati Patil's arms.

Harry was glad that the ceremony was outside. He didn't care that the gray skies were warning them of rain to come.

They found the rest of the Weasleys and Hermione and waited with them for the ceremony to begin. Not too long after that, an old white haired man appeared as everyone gathered around the dark red coffin.

"We gather here today to give thanks for the life of Neville Longbottom, who shared his life with us and died on August 29 of this year, at the age of 18 years old. It is in his memory that we gather and for his life that we are thankful…"


	2. Chapter 1

**WHAT SHALL WE DIE FOR?**

Chapter 1

by Julie

After the ceremony and their final good-byes to Neville, everyone followed Neville's grandma for one last gathering at her house. Harry reluctantly followed his friends until the old lady's house, but he was never able to step inside. He looked at the wooden door that Ron had let open for him to come in, but he was never able to step fully inside. As he tried, he felt like he couldn't breath and instead, he reached for the knob and closed it.

He walked down the two steps and walked to the bench placed just under the front window and sat down.

His hands held on to the marble bench as he tried to regain his breath. He felt the sweat over his forehead and quickly whipped it away. He made an attempt to untie his tie, but simply loosened it up a little.

Through the ceremony, he had watched the people in front of him. So many people were crying and he felt responsible for their sorrow. He buried his face in his hands as the memories of the ceremony came across his mind over and over again.

The man in robe saying his last words for Neville as the coffin started to go down the hole. He was standing behind everyone. Most of his friends had went in front with the rest of his family, but he had not been able to go near them since the night in the hospital. When Neville gave up and let himself die, it had been so hard on him. His grandma's cries had broken his heart and he was never able to go to her like everyone had done.

"Harry?" A small voice was heard.

Harry looked up to see Ginny walking slowly towards him. She seemed nervous to be around him and why shouldn't she be? Wasn't it because of him that Neville died?

"Not now Ginny." He just sighed looking away.

"Mom would like for you to come in." She went on as she took a seat next to him. "So does Neville's grandma."

"I'm not going in." He sternly exclaimed. "There's nothing for me to do in there."

He had not realized that he had raised his voice and a few people had gathered to the small front window wondering what was happening outside.

"Just be there. He was your friend, Harry." She argued. "He would have liked that you came in and talk to his grandma."

"To tell her what? Sorry it's my fault if your grandson died? Sorry that I'm the cause of all this pain and sorrow that so many people are going through?" He yelled. "Tell me, does that sound in any way comforting."

"It's not… " She started.

"IT IS!" He yelled once more before realizing that the entire house was now watching them. "It is and nothing will change that."

"Harry, he fought because like you he believed in the power of good." She argued following him as he walked away. "You can't be responsible for our decision to fight along with you. We all knew what we were getting ourselves into."

"No you have no idea, Ginny." He exclaimed. "You think you know, but you don't. You all believe that you have it all with me on your side. You all think because I succeeded to push back his plans a few times that we'll win."

She opened her mouth to reply, but he went on.

"But there's no such certitude. We may not win. We may all die. I'm not invicible and neither are all of you. Dumbledore was more powerful than any of us and he got killed." He said nearly crying. "I can't do it anymore. I can't watch people I care about die around me only because they decided to side with me. I just can't."

At that point, Hermione and Ron had joined the two others. Harry felt he was being cornered and he didn't like this feeling. All four of them were looking at one another, waiting to see who was going to start talking first. Harry just felt like leaving, but he felt that his friends were not about to let him.

"Harry, we don't think of you as invicible. But you are a strong wizard, stronger than a lot of people. With everything you went through, you succeeded to get out of there." Hermione decided to talk.

"And why couldn't Neville then? Why am I the one getting lucky? I fight against evil every day and I always come out alive, but why couldn't Neville? He didn't deserve to die." Harry started arguing again.

"No one deserves to die, Harry." Ron joined in. "He didn't deserve it, but it happened. It's not up to us to decide who dies and who lives."

"I could have made sure he wouldn't have died. I could have stopped him from following me. I could have told him to go back to safety. But no, I was selfish and kept him by my side. Just like I did with you guys." Harry exclaimed.

"We all agree to follow you." Ginny went back to her first argument. "We all made a decision by ourselves when we decided to follow you. It was not your decision to make."

"She's right, Harry." Hermione said in a more calm voice. "It was our decision."

Ron nodded agreeing silently and Harry felt lost for words. No matter how much they believed it was their decision, it was still his fault if they believed in the cause. It was him who started to fight back against Voldermort.

"Harry… " Ron started. "We'll fight no matter on your side. You can't stop us from doing that."

"I can." The brown haired boy exclaimed as his three confused friends looked at him. "I gave up. No more fighting."

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_Thanks for the two reviews girls! It means a lot to me:)_


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